Category Archives: iii. Second Party – Party of One

This umbilicus
between contemplation and action
is so havoced by grey
that the stage we play on
should never torture boredom
but i find myself living mere moments
that if they were all jig sawed together
would maybe equal one day
in a year of damp
I slither from non-care to care-most
and somehow,
unconsciously,
persuade friendships from this maze
that are more somnambulism
than the conquering of loneliness
and the fetid that accompanies it
I give to them a part of me
that they like more than not
but it’s a part that’s a bit
that if used to recreate me
wouldn’t build more than a toe
that’s also the representative for the stinky breath
between what burns behind and grows before
So i throw a water of indifference
over my shoulder
(that drowns the want-to-believe judgements
committed by friends believing that my past
delivered my current birth)
so that now is never
and the future is now
and i’m fucking frightened
by the biggest dreams
that are raped of ambition,
inactivity, pointless activity,
and the possible love of a breast
(deserves special mention, that timeous war for,
and simultaneous rejection, of, love)
Now i face-long into the avoidance of desire
and that which i’ve witnessed,
wring my hands of impatience and expectation
and slide my rotting tongue against that which ive truly begot…