Day 7: Friday, November 18
86kg. I lost 6kg in 1 week – inactive women on continuous diets must be jealous – he he.
I never expected to be overweight when poor but the logic is that the cheapest foods (bread, potatoes) and treats (oil, crisps) are fattening. Gone are those South African days from the past when fat was desirable and sexy as it indicated wealth (which was associated with health and security). A lifetime of cheap pap, bread, potatoes and beans has made many black women into wobbly, fat mamas.
Nevertheless, it smacks of irony that only 1 week ago i weighed more than i ever had. Having no car and walking everywhere only rubs in the oxymoron. Conversely, and concurrently (but not wholely), i do spend a lot of time in front of my computer which isn’t good for the belly!
On Thursday night, i tortured myself by watching 4 episodes of Man versus Food that i found on my computer. Even now, i’m salivating as i think of those enormous meals and, most of all, the pork/broccoli/garlic/cheese/gravy roll that was in the last episode i watched.
For 3 days, i’ve had a low but continuous pain under the ribcage on the upper right side of my abdomen. Appendicitis would be incredibly bad timing. Hell, i need asthma meds, dentistry and my right eye checked. Belief in minimalism has it’s limits. No matter how strong the mind, the body and life has the ability to fall apart when poor.
I just read Paul Coelho’s Veronika Decides to Die. A rather apt book considering mind versus body and self versus society: “We’re allowed to make a lot of mistakes in our lives except the mistake that destroys us.”
I loved this too, such a well written disagreement with me: “When everyone dreams, but only a few realize their dreams, that makes cowards of us all. (However) the person who’s right is just the person who’s strongest. Paradoxically, it’s the cowards who are the brave ones, and they manage to impose their ideas on everyone else.”
We can’t live without salt. This morning, i sprinkled some onto my left palm and licked it off (yay, variation to the day). Only a little left and then i will have to move on to celery salt (yuck).
Dinner: 35g Fritos & 2 beers (thanks neighbours)
Day 8: Saturday, November 19
I will, occasionally, take a drag of weed. I can’t call myself a stoner because it’s infrequent and i never buy. Last night i took 3 drags and then went to visit my neighbour upstairs. There, i collapsed.
I don’t believe it was the weed but a diary is suppose to provide the whole, truthful scenario. A more logical reason is that my body was shocked after a tough week.
It was embarrassing and frustrating as my muscles relaxed and i was unable to use legs or even lift my neck. When it never vanished, Damian helped me down the stairs. He let go of me at the door and i immediately collapsed again. He helped me inside.
When he popped by a few hours later, to drop off a packet of the new Fritos (Waves), i was able to get to the door but wasn’t able to understand all that he was saying. My brain was a mess. Back on the bed, my body went the opposite way and stiffened painfully so that i could not move. I passed out that way.
I awoke at 4.30am. Legs were jelly and i ached all over…but i could move.
And move i did because i went for a walk on the beach in Wilderness with Leigh after she dropped Damian at work. I haven’t been out in a week so i grabbed the opportunity even though i was feeling eggshell fragile. What had happened the night before had been damn scary.
I thought that we were simply going to look at the scenery but she had a hike in mind, from Tides to the end of the beach. She estimated the walk at 6km. If that’s accurate, then we’d gone approximately 2km when my body started failing me. I somehow pushed through to the halfway point where we sat for an hour during which i started burning even though it was early morning. The trip back was even tougher. Heat got up to 31 degrees (if the forecast was correct) and i almost didn’t make it up the long stairs to the top of the hill where the car was parked. I’ve done many challenging things in my life but this little hike joins them.
But my body was of big concern which is why i decided to buy food.
Yesterday, all the advertising for the club in Plett arrived which was a relief as we were possibly going to be behind schedule. The club owner fetched it from me and left me with R100 which was the only money i’ve had in 2 weeks. I spent R50 on a data bundle which is not enough to allow me to work but at least i will receive email a bit longer and can post this blog (the other blogs that have been appearing were written ahead of time and scheduled to appear).
That left R50 which is not a lot for the next 2 weeks. I then spent R20 foolishly on a Streetwise meal at Kentucky. Well, not “foolishly”. Strangely, when my muscles tightened the evening before, Kentucky got into my brain. Outside of fear, it was my main thought. I fulfilled it. After that, i bought 6 small potatoes and 1.5kg of apples. I ate 3 potatoes. I am super full right now – tummy bloated! Not the best vitamin choices but i feel more stable than i have in days.
The apples are damn small but they will have to do as my get-by meal for a while. Like the beers last week, they’re better than nothing.
Brunch – Nothing
Dinner – Kentucky Streetwise and 3 potatoes.