I want to tell me about emotional evolution, the strength of spirit over adversity, and the enormity of necessity versus the inconsequential dream. Instead, i preach about the midget of reality and imagination alive as choice. I invite horrors to my dream and wake so that they may provide comfort and respite from routine. In between, i break my mind. Build it with the old bricks of Ambition, the hope of Love and the dream of Knowing.
And then break it again and again and … and again. With each occasion, i lose a piece. As a youth it was Justice. The giant of adulthood was FUN. I’ve lost so many pieces that i’m scared that the jigsaw will never be become a picture. Soon, i’ll have nothing left. Feels like that already. I’m no cartographer. I’ve no fucking idea where i’m going in the big picture…but that doesn’t matter because i and you are not the big picture. It’s bigger than me. It’s bigger than you.
I said that, “It all seems so silly.” That doesn’t mean that it is! Maybe to others but not to me. This is now and fucking real. I breed a darkness?
I breed a darkness. Question evolves to fact. Give me educated dissension, indifference, passionate rage, love. All the same? It seems paramount but it isn’t…or is it? But you’ve got to do it!