I want to tell me about emotional evolution, the strength of spirit over adversity, and the enormity of necessity versus the inconsequential dream. Instead, i preach about the midget of reality and imagination alive as choice. I invite horrors to my dream and wake so that they may provide comfort and respite from routine. In between, i break my mind. Build it with the old bricks of Ambition, the hope of Love and the dream of Knowing.
And then break it again and again and â€¦ and again. With each occasion, i lose a piece. As a youth it was Justice. The giant of adulthood was FUN. Iâ€™ve lost so many pieces that i’m scared that the jigsaw will never be become a picture. Soon, iâ€™ll have nothing left. Feels like that already. Iâ€™m no cartographer. Iâ€™ve no fucking idea where iâ€™m going in the big picture…but that doesn’t matter because i and you are not the big picture. It’s bigger than me. It’s bigger than you.
I said that, â€œIt all seems so silly.â€ That doesnâ€™t mean that it is! Maybe to others but not to me. This is now and fucking real. I breed a darkness?
I breed a darkness. Question evolves to fact. Give me educated dissension, indifference, passionate rage, love. All the same? It seems paramount but it isnâ€™t…or is it? But you’ve got to do it!