Sunday’s a good day for laughter…
A cruise on the Pacific goes all wrong, the ship sinks, and there are only 3 Survivors; Jim, Tom and Susie.
They manage to swim to a small island and they live there for a couple of years doing what’s natural for men and women to do.
After several years of casual sex, all the time, Susie felt absolutely horrible about what she was doing.
She felt having sex with both Jim and Tom was so immoral and bad that she killed herself.
It was tragic, but Jim and Tom managed to get through it. After a while, Jim and Tom’s resistance to nature’s urgings waned, and the inevitable happened.
Well, a couple more months went by and Jim and Tom began to feel absolutely horrible about what they were doing.
(I didn’t see this one coming…)
So, they buried Susie.
A elderly man goes into confession and says to the priest,
“Father, I’m 80 years old, married, have four kids and eleven healthy grandchildren, and last night I had an affair with two 18 year old girls. I made love with both of them… twice.”
The priest said, “Well, my son, when was the last time you were in confession?”
“Never Father… I’m Jewish.”
“So then, why are you telling me?”
“I’m telling everybody!”
THE WINDOW CLEANER
A window cleaner goes to a monastery looking for work. The Abbot hires him but tells him to clean all the windows except the top three.
So the window cleaner cleans all the windows except the top three for years and years until curiosity finally gets the better of him. He puts his ladder up against the first of the three windows and looks in. he sees 12 monks with their robes up and their cocks lying on a table with a mouse running around on top of the table.
The window cleaner goes down the ladder moves to the second window and looks in. There he sees a beautiful woman and a monk in bed screwing like mad.
The window cleaner goes down the ladder and puts it up against the third window. He looks in and sees a monk tied up, stripped to the waist being flogged.
He climbs down the ladder, but when he gets to the bottom the Abbot is waiting for him. The window cleaner says, â€œLook, I know your going to fire me, but please, at least tell me what is going on up there.â€
â€œWell,â€ says the Abbot, â€œin the first window you saw a competition to see which is the lucky monk. Wherever the mouse stops is the lucky monk. And in the second window you saw a monk with the prize.â€
â€œBut what about the third window?â€ the window cleaner asks.
â€œWell,â€ says the Abbot, â€œthat monk was caught with a piece of cheese in his foreskin.â€
A mother and her son were flying Qantas from Perth to Sydney. The son, who had been looking out the window, turned to his mother and said, â€œWhy donâ€™t big planes have baby planes?â€ The mother, who couldnâ€™t think of an answer, told her son to ask the flight attendant. So, the little boy asked the flight attendant, â€œIf big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why donâ€™t big planes have baby planes?â€ The flight attendant asked, â€œDid your mother tell you to ask me that?â€ The boy said that she had. With a clever grin, the flight attendant said, â€œTell your mother itâ€™s because Qantas always pulls out on time.â€