An oldie but a goodie (yes, you’ve guessed it, i’ve started a joke section):
A magician was employed by a Shipping Line to entertain the passengers during cruises. The captain owned a parrot which always insisted on being part of the acts put on by the magician. He would perch on the edge of the stage and screech, “He does it with a mirror” or “He’s got it up his sleeve.” The magician was furious but since the bird was a favorite with the captain and he was anxious to retain his job for future cruises, he maintained an angry silence.
One evening as the magician worked, the parrot continued to harass the unfortunate man. Suddenly the ship hit an iceberg! The impact tore the bow off and sank the ship within minutes.
Amid the wreckage and the lifeboats, the magician sat on one end of a table from which, thankfully, was floating well. At the other end sat the parrot, dirty and disheveled, his feathers caked with fuel oil.
For some time they eyed each other malevolently saying nothing. Finally the parrot shook himself and advanced across the table. He fixed the magician with a beady eye. “Okay, I give up,” he squawked. “What did you do with the ship?”